Last night I was thinking about how chaotic my life used to be with three kids four and under. When my third baby was born, I had two in diapers and on bottles.
That time period was really a blur. It zipped by so fast that I really can’t remember the details of what happened. I just remember the gist of stuff; the sleepless nights, the constant baby holding or baby feeding, and breastfeeding around the clock. Everything else, kind of a blur. In fact, I couldn’t really find a good picture of all three kids at this time. Hmm, strange as I always take pictures.
Last night’s flashback was about one of those many “this can’t be happening to me right now” moments where you want to throw your hands up and give up. Where you are wondering how it was possible for a situation to get worse or crazier but somehow it did.
One of those moments involved a trip to Babies-r-Us to buy extra parts for my breast pump. I don’t know why I was so dead set on going that day but I was. I was exhausted, tired, and home alone while the hubs was at work. But I needed the parts and I was going. It took me hours to get everyone ready. I had to feed the newborn, burp him, change him, put him to sleep then place him ever so gently in the car seat so he would sleep in the car the whole way to the store. Then I had to do the same with the one year old, except she refused to nap so I had to find all the toys she could possibly want to play with to occupy her while in the car, at the store, and on the way home. Then, I had to pack diaper bags, snacks for the four year old, snacks for the one year old (because they didn’t eat the same snacks -of course) and hurry up and put everyone in the car as quietly as possible and beg and bribe my four year old to keep quiet so the baby could stay asleep the whole way there.
Exhausting just thinking about it!
We get to the store in one piece, but of course, the baby woke up as soon as I get there and was “starving” so our first stop was to spend an hour in the mother’s room feeding him while the other two kids wrecked the place. Then of course, they were all hungry and I had to change both of the little one’s diapers. Then it was snack time. FINALLY, we leave the room and go get the parts.
Two hours later, we return to the house, me exhausted and drained, but with the “much needed” breast pump parts that I just “had” to buy that day. As I approached the front door I heard the smoke alarms going off. Strange? When I opened the door, I found the entire house full of smoke and fumes. In the midst of my chaos of getting everyone ready I had totally forgotten that I had put several of my other breast pump parts in a pot of boiling water to sanitize them before we left. And by several parts, I really mean all my valves and shields.
The water had totally evaporated and the pieces had melted together into one yellow and white mess. Not only were they ruined but so was my big pot that was perfect for everything. You know, that one pot that you always use when you cook anything? That one.
I remember hearing that melted plastic released poisonous fumes so I left the kids at the front door, opened all the windows, and left the house for the rest of the entire day. I don’t remember where I went because that’s just another blur. All I remember was wanting to cry. In fact, I did cry. I called my husband who was enjoying a nice quiet day at work, and told him that I was “NOT DOING THIS ANYMORE!!” That this was, “ALL CRAZY,” and we needed to figure out how we were going to GET SOME HELP!!
And a few short weeks later, I had a nanny that my mother-in-law had promptly found for us start. Hallelujuah!
Today I can laugh at that story because now the kids are all grown up. I am not juggling nap schedules but juggling extra-curricular activities, or homework assignments, and breaking up fights. From the kitchen I can tell the kids to get in the shower, get dressed, brush teeth, and call me when they are ready for me to tuck them in. Meanwhile, I have washed the dishes (in peace) or caught up on the phone with a girlfriend. It’s just wonderful but makes me a little sad to think how big my kids are now. Soon I’ll be dropping my ten year old off to high school then to college (at Harvard, of course) and my daughter will be scurrying through prom dresses while her younger brother drives off to the movies. Sigh! They are all grown up!
I’ll just cherish the memories for now.
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