There are days when I throw my hands up in the air and decide that it’s time to quit my side gig and day job to instead focus on trying to become a better mom. Then there are days when I give up and say I just suck as a mom because I just can’t figure it out. As I’ve shared before, I don’t know how to raise my Tween. Some days, he just wakes up on the wrong side of the bed and before breakfast is over, he makes me want to add a heavy splash of Rhum Barbencourt to my Bustello.
Lately it just seems he is getting more and more mouthy and is complaining about everything. On top of that, he recently said the awful “hate” word when referring to his own parents, aka me and the hubs! And he has said it about his siblings too. It’s time I do something to nip this in the bud, and fast. But how?
I realize that some rebellion might be normal but saying the hate word is too much for me to handle. The first time he said it, I took everything away and gave him a long talk. I don’t know how much that helped because it happened again.
The most recent hate word came a few weeks ago. I am a believer in having kids do age appropriate chores. For my tween, that means a number of things like taking out the trash, collecting trash in each bathroom, and putting his clothes away after they are washed and folded for him. Of course, he has to keep his room tidy enough, at least. So on cleaning day, we assigned him a few chores and it was downhill from there. He complained, talked back, then asked for help when he didn’t need it. Taking out the trash resulted in a 20 minute production — “How do you tie the bag?” “Where should I put it next?” “Oops, spilled half the bag!”
It was enough to drive me crazy.
I’ve read not to let your kid know that they are getting to you, to control your emotions. So I tried to remain calm and then told him if he kept up his attitude, I would add more chores to his list. Two warnings later, he got another task and out came the big “H” word.
I realize transitions are a big part of raising kids but this transition, I can’t seem to grasp. I don’t anticipate it getting any better, I only see it getting more difficult. So again, I ask, how do I do this? How do I handle this transition without digging a deeper wedge between myself and my first born?
Help!
Leave a Reply