Dear Miley,
From one woman to um, another, let’s have a chat. Let’s start with the video to your song, We Can’t Stop. The first time I saw it I was at the hair salon. The song is catchy and I’m not afraid to admit I had been turning it up in the car for weeks. Had I seen the video? Definitely not since video watching is something I haven’t done since I was 17 and watched Rap City. But when I saw the video, my mouth dropped about a dozen times. Not in a good way. It left me with a bad aftertaste in my mouth. I wasn’t so much into the song any more once I understood the song’s underlying message. Ecstasy, sex, drugs, and self mutilation.
But your performance on last night’s VMAs? Come on. It was desparate. Even though you’re not of legal age to drink yet, we get the point you’re trying to make. You are “all grown up” now. Most of us have been there before. This awkward in between stage. I remember mine all too well. In my third year of college, working jobs, making some money. I was old enough to buy a lottery ticket but not old enough to buy a Sex on the Beach at my favorite club. It’s frustrating, I know.
So I did a few things to make a point. I opened an American Express card and loved whipping it out when shopping just to show the clerk I had good credit. I took road trips without calling my parents first to tell them I would be in Atlanta, Miami, Orlando, etc. that weekend. (Yep, I was bad.ass.) Made me feel all grown up- not having to report to anyone or ask anyone for anything.
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So here we all are to say Miley, we get it.You are no longer Hannah Montana. You are your own woman, making your own choices, and definitely making your own money. But your wagging tongue, twerking, humping of teddy bears, and fingering yourself with a foam finger in front of an international audience is throwing your game off. It’s not showing us how old you are, instead, it just makes us feel bad for you. The things you do in your 20s usually don’t follow you to your 3os, 40s, etc. But when you’re Miley Cyrus it does. We’re all here watching and wondering. We’ll be saying WTF was she thinking? for a long time.
So now that we got that out of the way, Miley will you cut it out? Can you stop excessively humping girls and touching yourself on camera? Just so you know, Madonna mastered the art of that five years before you were even an embryo in your mama’s womb.
Keep making music but please stop bending over in front of grown married men 17 years older than you. (Robin Thicke- ew, what were you thinking? And P.S. Did you intentionally wear an old-fashioned inmate uniform or was that your subconscious talking?) Oh, one last question. Where are your people? Who has your back? Who is signing off on this buffoonery? Think about that.
Signed,
Been there, never done that.
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