As much as I love to be a working mom, it comes with challenges. Some that make you feel like you’re not giving your full attention to your children and family. It can be especially hard when many of the moms at your kids’ school are stay-at-home moms. Today I had one of those days.
I was having a great day at the office until I received an email from my son’s teacher. She had sent a sign-up sheet via email for party items for the upcoming Valentine’s Day party. The item I signed up for was taken by several people so I was asked to bring something else – sliced strawberries. After reading the email it made me feel bad. The “women can’t do it all” feeling set it. I felt guilty. Then a co-worker, who is a single working mom, came in and saw my face knowing that I was deep in thought about something. She of course had moments like this before. We talked it through and I decided to shrug the email off.
What really made me feel bad was what the email suggested. I guess the message I’m sending the teacher is that I’m too busy to even slice strawberries for the class party. I started questioning how active I have been in class events and field trips. As far as I know, I missed only one. Or was it more? I did sign up for the next field trip (which happens to be same day as the party). Have I missed other events? I have been to every holiday event-I think. Then I remembered I did miss one class activity- that was set for one hour in the middle of the day. I may have left early to another event.
The thoughts were racing in my head.
I know that my son’s teacher didn’t mean any harm from her note. I just hate that as working moms we even go through this self-doubt process of being “a good mom or not.”
After talking through it with my co-worker and then really allowing the moment and my thoughts to process, I decided to shake it off and remind myself why I do work.
I enjoy what I do and feel lucky that I am able to work in a field of my choice. I know I could never find satisfaction in not working. It’s just not for me. Also, the truth is I am very busy. So is everyone else. Moms that stay home are busy.
Regardless, I always make my children a priority and I decide for myself what those priorities are. So even if I may buy the pie for the class dessert, rather than spend three hours making it, I’m choosing how I spend my time. I may later spend three hours fishing with my kids on the weekend. And anyway, I don’t like baking. But I love to cook.
Even though being a working mom can make you feel like crap sometimes, we need to stop making ourselves feel guilty about it. I won’t apologize for it and I won’t feel guilty for it.
Now, let me add “buy strawberries and slice them” to my calendar – stat. Because I very well may forget to do it!
Image credit: Flickr/Manchester-Monkey
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