If you’ve seen the movie, I Don’t Know How She Does It, staring Sarah Jessica Parker, then you may remember the Momster characters featured in the scene below. They were the two, Type-A have it all together, do it all moms. Even if you haven’t watched the movie, I’m sure you know one of these moms. She’s the first parent at school ready to drop off her kids with full make-up, perfect hair, and a perfectly coordinated and ironed outfit. If she’s headed to the gym, substitute casual wear for perfect gym outfit with gym shoes to match the headband and ironed yoga pants. When she gets to the gym, her trainer is there waiting to make her already perfect figure even more perfect.
The Momsters.
You just know that her kids have perfectly packed lunch boxes with those little compartments of this and that. Everything is made of fresh and organic products. She makes all the dishes for the school events from scratch. She IS at every school event. When she sees you, rather than wondering which class or which child you belong to, she knows you by your first and last name, not “Carrie’s Mom.” She even knows your husband’s name and will remember that ONE time you sent your husband on the field trip because you had an important meeting at work that you couldn’t miss. She’ll talk about that one field trip all the time and how great your husband was with the kids and how sorry she was that you missed the trip.
When Sarah’s character referred to them as Momsters, I immediately knew what she meant. The Momsters are overwhelming, take over type of personalities. Between all the volunteer requests, perfectness, countless emails, and matchy matchy tennis outfits, they frighten moms like me. They’re lives seem perfect, no stress, no worries, no job outside of the home to juggle. Their lives are scheduled around their children’s calendars.
During the holiday season, the Momsters are out in full force. Between Thanksgiving and Christmas, good grief, you can’t catch a break. They are out recruiting volunteers by the masses for school events they helped plan that of course, conflict with most of the working mom schedules.
When I see them, I try to run the other way. No, I don’t want to volunteer at extra music classes or computer classes. I have to work, write, or use my work from home days to work, write, and run my errands. If I’m lucky I’ll go to the gym.
Also, as much as I love my children, I secretly enjoy dropping them off at school so that I can take a break from them. Part of me “finding balance” in my life involves a no kid zone between 8:00 to 3:00 pm, and again at 8:30 pm.
Sure, I’ll do my share of volunteering throughout the year, but guess what Momster, I’m not coming in three times this week to help you cut 100 angels for the tree. But let me know if you need me to pick up a pack of pre-cut angels at Target. I’ll be glad to stop in on my way home from work.
If you are a Momster reading this, I really don’t mean to offend. I’m just pleading that maybe during the holidays you back up off me give us a break and make things as easy and simple as possible not just for me, but for other moms like me. Don’t smile at me with sympathy when I put my store bought cupcakes next to your miniature looking turkey cupcakes on the Thanksgiving table you designed and decorated for the Thanksgiving Feast. And for heaven’s sakes, PLEASE don’t ask me “how do I do it” after you see me running into my third Christmas performance of the week, late, with my cell phone in one hand and papers in the other. Clearly, I’m NOT doing it. I’m struggling to do it.
So for the love of all things red and green this holiday season, let’s be real with each other. You know I can’t come in and spend an hour and half in computer class two days this week, or next week. Please don’t ask if I’ll be there and I won’t ask you why you are invading all of my personal space! I have to check my email real quick!
Cheers and Mistletoe!
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