I recently read the book, The 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children Effectively and discovered that one of my children’s love languages is quality time. With multiple children at home, it’s not always easy for parents to spend quality time with each child. Life is always moving fast and it seems like most of our time with our kids is about making sure they don’t fight, that everyone eats, homework is done, and everyone is happy.  And when the kids outnumber the adults, it seems like its even harder to find some quiet time not only for yourself but with each individual child.

 

Although I am a big proponent of family time at the dinner table, on weekends, etc., I understand the value of spending time devoted to just one child.  As a mom to three, I sometimes find myself looking over at one child while talking to another.  So every once in a while, I try to carve out time for me and just one or maybe even two kids.  I have found that the chemistry of our group changes dramatically even with one less child.  Everything from going to the grocery store to working from home is so much easier, and calmer.  Still hard but nonetheless easier.

Outside from picking one child to accompany me on an errand, I make it a point to schedule special time with one child for a special day out.  On our special day my son or daughter gets to pick where they want to eat for lunch and what we will together on that day.  We don’t do anything complicated or extravagant, as the day is more about spending one-on-one time rather than busting the family budget.

Quality time with your child benefits them in several ways especially when quality time is their love language.  It is important for their emotional health, building meaningful relationships (yes, even with our children) and of course, creates lasting childhood memories.

Having just finished a round of special days with each of the kids these last few weeks, I thought I would share my tips for the busy family.

Tips to Spending Quality Time With Your Child

1. Schedule the time. If you’re like me, if it’s not on my calendar, it may never happen. Schedule at least one time each month where you spend a few hours with just one child. You don’t have to have set plans right then or even the day of. Sometimes just going to lunch or a walk in the park will do the trick.
2. Keep the activity simple. You might be tempted to do something extra special or go to a special event. That’s not necessary to make the experience special. Going to a coffee shop and playing checkers is a great activity.
3. Silence all distractions. It’s so easy to answer a quick text or check Facebook while you’re waiting for your food to arrive or during a moment of silence. Silence your phone or put it on “Do Not Disturb” mode to avoid all distraction. If your child also has a phone, ask him or her to do that same.
4. Stay encouraged. Sometimes we get too busy and realize we’ve missed our special time with a child. Don’t get discouraged. Schedule the time. If you’re a parent to a tween or teenager like me, they may resist the activity or the need to spend time with you. This is normal. Find something they like to do or ask them to plan it. You’ll notice they will likely be more apt to participate than if you did all the planning.
5. Make it a daily habit. Dinner time is an important time in our home to reconnect with everyone. There’s no TV, no phones, and we’re all sitting together at the table. Sometimes we talk a lot, sometimes we don’t but dinner time is a guaranteed family moment. Sharing time together as a family over a meal is a great way to stay connected and spend quality time together.

Below are some pictures of an old outing with my youngest from a few years ago.  We spent the afternoon doing his two favorite things, fishing and eating McDonald’s.  Happy to say we caught five fish and had a great time.

How do you like to spend quality time with your child?